Lily Cheat's on James?
by SnoJess
Summary: Lily go's out to find herself a new friend...but finds more! CrAzInEsS happens! Ice Cream and Potato Chips everywhere I tell you! and don't forget the Cereal!


Okay, this story is very weird and would NEVER happen in the books! I was bored, and hyper! And so this strange story came to be. Oh yah, and just so you know, this story takes place before Harry was born. This is just for fun! So don't read it if you will get insulted or anything. Lily cheats on James!  
  
Also- I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! NOTHING! NOT HARRY POTTER OR ANYONE/THING MENTIONED IN THIS STORY!  
  
Lily Potter was bored with James. It was the time of the Dark Lord's reign and James  
  
was always off somewhere killing poor little death eaters. This left Lily to sit around the  
  
house eating Lays classic potato chips and being bored until James would come home  
  
very late at night. Lily wanted to talk to James about having a child. She knew she  
  
wouldn't get bored if she had a baby to take care of while he was gone. But James was  
  
always too tired when he got home to even talk to Lily.  
  
So one day when Lily reached into her potato chip bag only to find it empty, she realized  
  
she was getting fat. Wait, no, she realized she was lonely. Yes, She was lonely so she  
  
left the house to go look for a friend.  
  
She started walking down the street to see many people who could be her friend. There  
  
was a kindly old women, a young woman about her age, and a small boy riding on a  
  
bicycle. All these wonderful people smiled and waved at Lily. But Lily saw someone  
  
else too. A tall man wearing a black cloak that very much looked like he could be a serial  
  
killer. (Or a cereal killer. Die Lucky Charms.Die! Your next Cheerios!) "You girl,"  
  
the man said to Lily, "come here."  
  
'Oh yay!' thought Lily, and she skipped over to him.  
  
The man started breathing heavily like Darth Vader and said, "Lily..(breath).I am  
  
your...FRIEND! let's get some ice cream!"  
  
After eating some yummy ice cream, Lily was starting to feel even fatter. Wait, no! she  
  
was starting to feel good, because she had a friend. The scary but friendly man took Lily  
  
to his house. It was a very nice house.  
  
A week later Lily found out she was pregnant. Damn that ice cream! So she went back  
  
to the Scary man's nice house to tell him. And she also thought it might be a good idea  
  
to find out his name while she was at it. His name was..  
  
LUCIUS! Yes, Lucius Malfoy. That's right. Bwah ha ha!  
  
So Lily Potter told Lucius Malfoy that she was pregnant with his child. Lucius then  
  
confesed his love to Lily.  
  
"Oh Lily!" He exclaimed. "I love you with all my heart! Leave that fool Potter and be  
  
my wife!..wait, your pureblood, right?"  
  
But Lily was not a pureblood. Both her parents were muggles. "Get your paws off me  
  
you damn dirty muggle!" he yelled at her. Lily started to cry, making Lucius feel bad for  
  
yelling at her. So he said he was sorry and that he really did love her. But he could not  
  
marry her because she was muggle born. Instead he gave her a bunch of gold for her  
  
trouble. Thus, Lily and James got their small fortune. "Look James, I won the lottery!"  
  
A few weeks later Lucius married a pureblooded woman named Narcissa. Lily was  
  
happy for him, but still didn't know what to do about her pregnancy. She didn't have the  
  
heart to tell James. So she went back to Lucius house again to ask him what she should  
  
do. Lucius was more than willing to keep the baby. He told Lily to be quiet and they  
  
sneaked into Narcissa's bedroom, where she was sleeping. Lucius pointed his wand at  
  
Lily's stomach, whispered a magic word, and then pointed the wand at Narcissa.  
  
"Now Narcissa is pregnant with our child. She'll think it's ours and no one will ever  
  
know it's really yours." Lucius told Lily.  
  
Lily went home relived that she wasn't going to be getting any fatter.  
  
Eventually Lily got pregnant again with James baby. They named him Harry. Lily  
  
wanted to tell Harry someday about his half brother, but never got the chance because  
  
Voldemort killed her.  
  
Harry grew up with Lily's muggle sister and at the age of eleven found out about how his  
  
parents were wizards. Harry inherited their small fortune, not knowing how they got it,  
  
and went to school at Hogwarts, where his half brother, Draco, also attended.  
  
THE END 


End file.
